There are many things which I will swear to do and this is one of them. I swear to do update my blog more regularly. Notice that I have chosen not to swear on something cause that would probably be risky.

I wouldn't want to swear on
(1) My mother's life, which for some reason happens to be a favourite. Similarly not using the lives of anyone i know which to swear upon
(2) Not swearing upon the lives of people whom i do not know. It would be totally unethical to do so cause I couldn't care less if i didn't know them so there could potentially be many people just dropping like flies on the street. Moreover, how would you like it if you were to drop dead on the street cause someone you didn't know swore on your life? Not very pleasant eh?
(3) Not swearing upon my immortal soul because i don't believe in it and if a number of people whom I hope to never see again are right, I may not have one to swear on.
(4) My Penis, because i love it and so should you. Unless of course you're homosexual then please admire from a distance. Thank you.
(5) The clothes on my back. Firstly, considering what i'm wearing now i can't see why they would be worth anything. Secondly, i'm obviously running out of examples
(6) I'm obviously running out.

So begins my first blog entry in a long time. So far we have established that the author is either male or used to be female, and is a penis egomaniac. Has a questionable sense of humour and seems to enjoy swearing alot.

I hope that this spurt of writing will last a lot longer than the last one. I would really like to keep it going. If you know me and i haven't updated my blog in sometime do come up to me and prod me and say "Hey, your blog ah... <>" So please change all web links. From now I reside here.

I'm currently in Copenhagen for the week. The city is really beautiful in the day, more beautiful when there's the odd occurence of sun during winter. There is, however, always another side to the city, even if we're talking about one of the most successful social welfare states in the world.

I'm taking the metro, just 3 stops towards the city centre. When i get the train, i sit at one of those 4 seaters where the benches face each other. Naturally in such a situation you have to encounter the odd problem of figuring out where to stare. You don't want to stare away all the time because that just simply won't be polite on the other hand you don't want to stare at the person opposite you. If you do one of 2 things will probably happen, the person thinks you're some perverted creep or you have to engage in a non-commital pointless conversation which tends to revolve around the weather.

The awkward situation persists for a whole one stop, which to this author seems more approximate towards eternity. Then it happens, the woman opposite me leaves and from the door behind her a huge rat enters the train. I should clarify that he is not really a rat but he could very well be mistakened as one. He has disshevelled hair, stick out of his head in tuffs. They are dry and stringy, which he emphasises by playing with the ends of the hair which stick out at odd angles above his ears. He hasn't shaved in at last a couple of days and the shadow of a beard is darkened by dirt all over his face and hands.

As he approaches, i begin to hold my breath. There is this stale smell emmitting from his direction which i did not notice before. But it grows steadly stronger has he approaches. It is as if the air around him freezes in its place and he carries it around like the rest of the dirt and grime on his body. Naturally he chooses to sit opposite me.

He has big eyes, huge in fact, that dart about constantly. His cheeks have sunken in so much that you can see the clear definition of his cheek bones and the shadow cast in the hollow of his cheeks. His mouth manages to protrude from his face making his jaw area jut out horizontally and concically. He begins to make strange noises with his mouth and teeth. A sort of irritating sucking sliva noise coupled with a lower indentation of a jaw chucking noise. Unfortunately for me its directed towards me. With his portruding lips its as if his mouth is almost touching my face. I'm utterly disgusted and give him as stare, to which he does not seem to notice.

His fidgiting doesn't stop. He's really like a rat. moving his hands on his lap veritcally up and down. very disconcerting by the way. then twitching his legs up and down. intermittently he'll pick at his hair and put it in his mouth. purse his lips at nothing. Probably the most irritating man in the world.

So that was enough for 2 more stops and i was only too glad to hop off the train leaving him behind. Phew!